On the recommendation of a friend, I had a phone reading with a psychic/intuitive reader named Shaman Star (Paula) about a month ago and one of the first things she said to me was that she could see that I wanted to be a spiritual teacher. When she said it, I welled up with tears, because it is something that is true in the deepest part of my heart. I have felt at lost on how to make that a reality though for quite some time now.
The fact is that I have a husband and a young daughter. Although I feel my husband and I are both contributing in important ways, I am the financial breadwinner in the family and support our daily expenses with a mid-senior-level corporate job.
On top of that, Life has presented us with a lot of challenges over the past few years, as it has for many. We had to sell one home, another is in foreclosure. The third burned down in a fire. I was laid off from one job, found a contract job for a year and then found a new full-time job after that – but it required us to move across the country to somewhere unfamiliar to both of us. Since that time, both our fathers passed away, my husband’s business went down the tubes and he is in an expensive legal battle. Add to that some medical issues for both of us as icing on the cake. This is all over the course of about two and a half years.
Through all of that, we were navigating the waters of parenthood with our now almost two-year-old daughter. She is the light of our lives and makes me smile and laugh and fills me with more love than I ever thought was possible. And while I know we are blessed in countless ways and I find gratitude every day, it has still been a grueling few years for us and some of the most stressful of my 35 years.
The reader thought I should research a placed called The New Seminary of Interfaith Studies in New York. Apparently, they have correspondence courses and she suggested I look into them as a means of slowly working toward a goal of being a spiritual teacher. It sounds fabulous. I thought, “Sure, add it to the list of things I wish I could do!” It’s just hard to know when I’ll be able to make those wishes a reality with all my mundane responsibilities and debt that keep me perpetually depleted and exhausted.
I hope someday to get to a place in my life when things slow down enough that I can attend to me and my longings again. With everything that’s going on right now, I just have to hold onto the hope that those opportunities are ahead of me and do myself to strive toward them. For now, this blog is my first step toward honoring a deeper part of myself that needs to speak, that needs a voice, that needs more than the limited, unrewarding and unsatisfying rat race that so many of us find ourselves stuck in.
Hope.
The fact is that I have a husband and a young daughter. Although I feel my husband and I are both contributing in important ways, I am the financial breadwinner in the family and support our daily expenses with a mid-senior-level corporate job.
On top of that, Life has presented us with a lot of challenges over the past few years, as it has for many. We had to sell one home, another is in foreclosure. The third burned down in a fire. I was laid off from one job, found a contract job for a year and then found a new full-time job after that – but it required us to move across the country to somewhere unfamiliar to both of us. Since that time, both our fathers passed away, my husband’s business went down the tubes and he is in an expensive legal battle. Add to that some medical issues for both of us as icing on the cake. This is all over the course of about two and a half years.
Through all of that, we were navigating the waters of parenthood with our now almost two-year-old daughter. She is the light of our lives and makes me smile and laugh and fills me with more love than I ever thought was possible. And while I know we are blessed in countless ways and I find gratitude every day, it has still been a grueling few years for us and some of the most stressful of my 35 years.
The reader thought I should research a placed called The New Seminary of Interfaith Studies in New York. Apparently, they have correspondence courses and she suggested I look into them as a means of slowly working toward a goal of being a spiritual teacher. It sounds fabulous. I thought, “Sure, add it to the list of things I wish I could do!” It’s just hard to know when I’ll be able to make those wishes a reality with all my mundane responsibilities and debt that keep me perpetually depleted and exhausted.
I hope someday to get to a place in my life when things slow down enough that I can attend to me and my longings again. With everything that’s going on right now, I just have to hold onto the hope that those opportunities are ahead of me and do myself to strive toward them. For now, this blog is my first step toward honoring a deeper part of myself that needs to speak, that needs a voice, that needs more than the limited, unrewarding and unsatisfying rat race that so many of us find ourselves stuck in.
Hope.
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