I think my Inner Voice, Higher Self, Subconscious, Spirit…something…speaks to me at night while I’m sleeping through music. For several years now, I always wake up in the morning with a few lines of a song in my head. The lyrics always seem to speak to what I’m thinking or feeling or going through at that time.
This morning I woke up with the chorus from a Leann Rimes song called “Something’s Gotta Give” in my head. The lyrics go:
Something's gotta give me butterflies
Something's gotta make me feel alive
Something's gotta give me dreams at night
Something's gotta make me feel alright
I don't know where it is
But something's gotta give
Something's gotta make me feel alive
Something's gotta give me dreams at night
Something's gotta make me feel alright
I don't know where it is
But something's gotta give
I think these lyrics speak to a longing in my right now for something more, something greater than what I am experiencing right now in my life. I am longing for something to make me feel more ALIVE.
I am making some small steps right now to try to improve things. Yesterday I called the university where I last took classes, so I could figure out what I need to do to go through the re-admissions process and start taking part-time classes again.
People are always amazed that I make a six-figure salary and am so far in my career, yet I still haven’t finished my Bachelor’s Degree. It’s a bit of a skeleton in the closet for me. But with my career going so well all these years, I guess I never made it a priority to go back and finish it. Unfortunately, I think I’m at a point in my career now that it is going to impede further progress. Beyond that, I really want to check off that box. It would be a huge sense of accomplishment for me and a big monkey off my back in an emotional and psychological perspective. I think I will just feel LIGHTER when I finish it.
Beyond feeling more alive, I think I just want to feel more like ME. Over the past few years, I feel like I don’t do anything anymore that makes me ME. I used to meditate regularly, attend yoga classes three or four times a week, participate in political and social causes, go to fundraisers, journal regularly, read constantly. Becoming a wife and a mother seems to have usurped a lot of the time and space in my life that I used to reserve for those things.
I guess the good news is that I recognize that this has happened, so I now have the ability to try to change it.
Baby steps.
I am making some small steps right now to try to improve things. Yesterday I called the university where I last took classes, so I could figure out what I need to do to go through the re-admissions process and start taking part-time classes again.
People are always amazed that I make a six-figure salary and am so far in my career, yet I still haven’t finished my Bachelor’s Degree. It’s a bit of a skeleton in the closet for me. But with my career going so well all these years, I guess I never made it a priority to go back and finish it. Unfortunately, I think I’m at a point in my career now that it is going to impede further progress. Beyond that, I really want to check off that box. It would be a huge sense of accomplishment for me and a big monkey off my back in an emotional and psychological perspective. I think I will just feel LIGHTER when I finish it.
Beyond feeling more alive, I think I just want to feel more like ME. Over the past few years, I feel like I don’t do anything anymore that makes me ME. I used to meditate regularly, attend yoga classes three or four times a week, participate in political and social causes, go to fundraisers, journal regularly, read constantly. Becoming a wife and a mother seems to have usurped a lot of the time and space in my life that I used to reserve for those things.
I guess the good news is that I recognize that this has happened, so I now have the ability to try to change it.
Baby steps.
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